BY LINDSEY QUICK

Leading people can be one of the most fulfilling aspects of one’s career. Watching employees develop their skills and grow in their roles is immensely rewarding. But this work can also be a challenge, especially when you have employees who are exhibiting bad behavior.

Putting an end to this behavior as soon as possible is critical: You don’t want others to pick up on those behaviors and you want to ensure customers have the best experience. But how do you stop this behavior in its tracks? What should a manager do to help the employee change their behavior before it’s too late?

In many management circles, there are two opposite ends of the spectrum for how to approach negative behavior. One is tough, one is tender. In most situations, we know that extremes rarely lead to a positive outcome. But how do you strike a balance that will help you connect with employees while also holding them accountable?

Sara Ross, Chief Vitality Officer at BrainAMPED, agrees that leaders should avoid taking an all-or-nothing approach. “In almost all cases, a degree of both is required,” she said. Ross founded BrainAMPED, a research and coaching firm that helps people manage the stresses of work by strengthening their leadership vitality through the skills of energy management, emotional intelligence and resilience. She believes there are situations where both methods can be useful.

“A tough approach should be thought of as holding someone accountable to expectations, while a tender approach is proceeding with an open mind and starting from a place of empathy,” Ross said.

Ross noted that most managers feel more comfortable with one approach over the other, and said it’s important for managers to be aware of this. “Leaders need to hold themselves accountable to what ratio of tough and tender is best for the conversation, versus which is the most comfortable,” she said.

Building this self-awareness and knowing how to navigate these situations takes experience, but can also be developed through training. While many management training programs exist, LEAD (Leadership Education and Development) is a new program from the International Carwash Association that’s designed specifically for car wash managers. It takes a people-centric approach and teaches new leaders a multitude of valuable skills, including how to have tough conversations in order to build the culture your organization wants and needs.

The Consequences of Bad Behavior

While most of us prefer to avoid confrontation, it’s important to consider the consequences of letting bad behavior continue. Bad behavior, even things that seem small, can morph into a serious problem when left unaddressed. Your problem-free employees might decide they don’t need to follow the rules if others don’t have to. Or worse, it could frustrate some of your best employees so much that they quit.

In a blog post from Insperity, Senior Human Resource Specialist Amanda Novakovic details what can go wrong when problem behavior is ignored. “A healthy, productive culture is the key to keeping employees engaged and excited about their work,” Novakovic wrote. “If you’re perceived as ignoring a problem employee, others will take note. Some of your top employees, especially if they’re taking on extra work to avoid interacting with that difficult employee, could leave.”

Novakovic also pointed out that the bad behavior could impact customers as well. “If an employee is argumentative and rude to peers, then they very well could take the same approach with your customers,” she said. “Don’t expect the problem to resolve itself. Ignoring will only worsen the situation.”

Ross agreed: “When managers fail to address bad behavior, it is demotivating for everyone. Negative attitudes and behaviors tend to spread because negative emotions are highly contagious.”

That being said, Ross advised managers to be thoughtful in their approach; again, balancing the tough and tender. “When managers are too harsh in their response, they tend to motivate through fear,” Ross said. “This may get employees to do what you want them to do, but they will certainly not come into work committed to do their best.”

Ross believes managers who choose to avoid the confrontation and those who address the bad behavior too harshly will face the consequence of employees who choose to do “just enough” — just enough to not get in trouble, just enough to get the job done, just enough to get the paycheck.

Addressing Problem Behavior

When you’ve identified the problem and have decided to take action, where do you begin? The first step is often the simplest one, but also overlooked: listen and be empathetic.

In an article from Forbes, author Erika Andersen stressed the importance of both. “The best managers get very attentive when someone’s not doing well,” she said. “They know their best shot at improving the situation lies in having the clearest possible understanding of the situation — including knowing the employee’s point of view.” Andersen went on to say that in some cases, simply listening and showing empathy could save the day. “You may hear about a problem that you can solve,” she wrote. And once that employee feels heard, he or she might start acting very differently.

Ross also emphasized the importance of listening and empathy. “The reality is that people are more invested in the solution or desired change when they feel heard, valued and respected in the conversation,” said Ross. “This is why empathy is such a beneficial starting place.”

According to Ross, another benefit of the two-way conversation is that it allows the manager to check-in with the employee’s understanding of the expectations moving forward. “This is the accountability-focused element of the conversation,” she said.

Making the Tough Decision

When listening isn’t enough, managers need to be ready to move to the next stage. In her article in Forbes, Andersen recommends providing clear, behavioral feedback, being consistent in how you respond to good and bad alike, and setting consequences when things don’t change. She also said that managers must be prepared if they have to make the hard decision to let someone go. First, she suggests documenting the key points of each interaction. “Dozens of times I’ve had managers tell me that they couldn’t let a difficult employee go because they had no record of the bad behavior,” she said. “Whenever you’re having problems with an employee, write it down.”

The next step is to ensure you’re working through the company’s process by “dotting all the I’s and crossing all the T’s” that will allow you to fire the person if it comes to that.

And finally, she advises managers in this position to be courageous. “Firing someone is the hardest thing a manager has to do,” she said. “If it gets to that point, do it right: Don’t make excuses, don’t put it off and don’t make someone else do it.”

Going Forward

By putting an end to bad behavior, it shows that you value and prioritize a healthy work environment for the rest of your team, and at the same time, create a place where customers want to be. Stopping bad behavior is one component, and so is encouraging positive behavior. “If managers want people to go the extra mile, then don’t just talk to people when they’ve done something wrong, recognize what they are doing right as well. Ensure you acknowledge your employees’ progress, effort, outcomes and learning,” said Ross.

No matter the behavior, there should be a balance. “Any behavior-based conversation should aim to either reinforce what’s working or change what isn’t,” said Ross. ”Instead of feeling like a choice needs to be made between tender or tough, instead consider what ratio of each that is required.” Managers who are able to find this balance are sure to be the most successful in leading their teams.